Life is beautiful, fear is the enemy.
Hi. I dont know where to begin. First off im writing in my notepad on my ipod touch. So please excuse my dear aunt sally and all her grammatical errors. I dont even know who im speaking to. But whoever is listening know this, i am fucking crazy. Okay phew, now that we get each other, lets begin. Im feeling it. Im feeling what i once felt before. What i thrive for. What i am best at. I feel a powerful energy pulling me towards another human being. I am so drawn to her and it frightens me. I am so afraid of hurting her.. Shes beautiful. Inside and out. Ive only known her for a few months but we talk constantly. Ive gotten to know her on a best friend level. I enjoy learning everything there is to know about her. Im so intrigued. Unfortunately, shes so far away and thats another blockage i feel. Im afraid im going to fall in love with her and shes going to give up, shes going to lose interest in me.. I cant believe im saying this, but i think i love her. Legitimately love her. Sometimes when im getting ready for bed and i dont hear from her, i cant sleep. The smile she puts on my face is a genuine ‘me’ smile. I am finally going to meet her in person in like two days. Im seriously so excited. I just want to kiss her already. I just want to hug her so close to my chest. I want to know what she smells like. I want to look into those beautiful green eyes and melt. And as i melt i want her hands to be in mine. I cant wait to talk to her in person. She has such an attractive voice. Im weird because i like the way hands look and the way voices sound.. And i looove her voice. And her hair. Oh my gosh. And her style seems mature but laid back. I wish she would stay up here for good. I think her going home is going to be really upsetting. But i guess we will see how the whole meeting each other goes. I mean i may be having a grand time and she might not like what or who i am. When we text, talk over the phone, or whatever, i do act like myself. But maybe my aneurisms will annoy her or my personality in person will be too much. I fell in love once. And it was the hardest thing i ever had to deal with. And ive loved many others. But im ready to fall in love again. Love is 100% an addiction. And if the love is good and pure and beneficial for the both of you then let it flow. Let love embrace the two of you and let it be all you ever dreamed it would be. Life is full of ups and downs and so is love. In the end, if the love you share with someone is a love that you both build off of and gain strength from then it will survive through any weather. Like i said before, i think i am ready to love again.